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Know Your Needs or Feel Needy

Many people are surprised to learn that having needs is not selfish or narcissistic. In fact, it is the #1 rule of happiness. Furthermore, self-centeredness and controlling behavior are indicators of the confusion and pain that results from unexamined needs.

We have been told by religions for eons to "ask and ye shall receive." The recognition of needs is the asking. It is the beginning of communication with the Universe.

The advantages of discovering needs are many. A few include:

  1. self-observation and personal honesty are required,
  2. becoming a detective by gaining altitude helps objectivity in all areas of life,
  3. trains one to be more centered in the Now, rather than in the past or future,
  4. encourages evaluation rather than judgment in dealing with self and others,
  5. fulfills edict of ancient writings: "ask and ye shall receive."
  6. replaces emotional reasoning with factual reasoning,
  7. takes direction of life away from the ego,
  8. establishes a healthy communication link with self and with others,
  9. provides a solid foundation for change and decision-making,
  10. allows clarity in recognizing signals,
  11. helps one to get away from co-dependent behavior,
  12. sets the stage for healthy adult living,
  13. helps one to respond rather than react,
  14. reduces shame, fear, and uncertainty,
  15. helps one to move from feeling lost and invisible to security and confidence,
  16. acts as a fundamental step toward self-trust, important to healthy, happy living,
  17. encourages individuality and acceptance of uniqueness,
  18. provides a solid basis for manifestation by broadcasting a particular energy frequency to the Universe,
  19. opens the door to contact with other dimensions of self,
  20. discourages you from saying yes when you mean no.
  21. reverses the automatic tendency to take care of others first,
  22. diminishes pain-trained living, and out-of-control behaviors,
  23. helps one to become more intuitive and creative,
  24. reduces stress,
  25. provides the basis for healthy decision-making,
  26. establishes the basis for automatic forgiveness.
  27. increases intimacy and often solves intimacy problems,
  28. helps to establish healthy boundaries,
  29. facilitates a reunion with self after abandonment in childhood,
  30. increases natural spirituality,
  31. helps to define goals and priorities,
  32. allows one to talk about topics that are more real and relevant,
  33. reduces personalizing others' attitudes, dispositions, states of mind, etc.,
  34. helps you to focus on healing of self before working on healing of the planet,
  35. represents the most basic aspect of the three rules for recovery: showing up, trusting truth, and surrendering to signals,
  36. helps one recognize strengths, self-defeating patterns of thought and behavior, and vulnerabilities,
  37. encourages independence,
  38. significantly limits the effects of "fate,"
  39. sends a clear message to others about who you are,
  40. helps self to mind one's own business,
  41. helps one to take care of oneself,
  42. supports the "child within,"
  43. reorients self to focus on what is important,
  44. acts as the most basic first step in adult accountability,
  45. takes one out of the victim role and into the victor role,
  46. helps one to be willing rather than willful,
  47. defining yourself automatically defines your path, what is best for you, and helps to keep you from stepping onto
  48. someone else's path.
  49. encourages reaching out for help.

Perhaps the most convincing case for recognizing and listing needs is that life is a reflection of needs. That is, the direction, substance, and quality of life is determined by examined and unexamined thoughts, fantasies, and communications with others, all of which describe needs.

The fact of the matter is, in all ways you are always expressing our needs in one way or another whether you are conscious of them or not. If we do not know, consciously, what we are thinking, visualizing, and communicating, we can be very surprised by what unfolds in our lives.

Cause and effect (need -> result) (need -> signal) is the primary operating principle (operating system) of the Universe. You actually establish cause with the expression of need, setting the "wheels" in motion for a specific desired effect.

Even a plant has needs. But they are so basic that a Needs List is not necessary. For a plant, survival is encoded at the cellular level. In man, survival is encoded at the cellular level, too, but humans are more complex than plants. Thus, broadcasting the right signal to the universe is a more complex issue. Complexity and diversity require a different broadcast signal than survival does.

This is where the Needs List comes in. It is a powerful signal-frequency-energy transmission to the Universe. It focuses on the complexity and the diversity of Y O U. It spells out what you, in partnership with the Universe, determine to be important . . . where your path lies. Happiness is dependent upon the consistent broadcast a clear signal on station N.E.E.D.S. (Never Ending Examination and Definition of Self). Thus, every thought, every comment, every mind picture is, in fact, a prayer to the Universe about what you need. When you consider that even the most negative and distorted thoughts, comments, and fantasies are automatically projected as needs, you begin to realize the importance of a Needs List to neutralize the negative.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of individuals in "modern" society are "pain-trained." That is, most people are so used to abandonment and abuse from family members, politicians, "friends," advertisers, schools, religions, etc., that pain is accepted as the norm rather than as an anomaly. Without much stretch of the imagination, we can see that personal integrity is missing at all levels of society -- from the highest levels of government to the family itself.

A person who is "pain-trained" is discouraged from considering needs. And pain is so distracting that priorities and goals go unconsidered. Emphasis is placed, instead, on survival through denial of self and focus on the assumed needs of others. Thus, most people unknowingly abandon themselves early in life and establish an "otherness orientation." Focus on the needs of others further exacerbates abandonment and loneliness.

A battle of wills also is found in codependent adults with neither person in touch with needs. Weight problems, addictions, and health problems result.

The Needs List

The power of the Needs List should not be underestimated. Since it is an ongoing meditation-prayer, it is the most direct way to health, healing, and happiness -- how about these three items for your Needs List?

What is a Needs List?

It is a special book or computer listing that is designated as such and nothing else goes in it but healthy needs, wants, hopes, and desires. - written, pencil and eraser are used, since you are an evolving, changing being. It is your blueprint for success; it is your self-foundation; it is your passageway into visibility; it is your self-worth statement; it is your ticket out of victimization; it is your most powerful tool of manifestation; it is a magnificent messenger of personal accountability and responsibility; it is your personal Bible with real personal meaning; it is an application of A Course in Miracles, bringing peace on earth and good will toward men. It is proof that you are (1) showing up, (2) trusting truth, and (3) preparing to surrender to the signals. Symptoms of not having a Needs List are predictable: rushing, resisting, resenting, and regretting. Sadness, defensiveness, avoidance, procrastination, and motivation by guilt, shame, and fear predominate. And you are constantly seeking ways to relieve the stress of being lost.

Without a Needs List, you are spiritually divided from self, creating a defensive, victim stance where being right is more important than being happy; the focus is on winning rather than on willing. Survival predominates. This becomes the basis for intimacy problems, for if you are survival oriented, you cannot be intimate with yourself or another person.

Thus, transition from the land of the lost, defiant, confused, pessimistic, willful, mistrusting, angry, shameful, and afraid, requires you to take seriously the self-definition project of the Needs List. Great minds like Maslow, Weil, Miller, and Glasser were the first in psychology to discuss seriously the issue of needs.

They pointed to such innate needs as

These healthy needs can help you get started on your list.

Robert J. Ringer, author of Million Dollar Habits provides another healthy need, enthusiasm: "The more enthusiastic you are the more you'll attract the attention of positive people and increase your chances for success." Thus, needs like enthusiasm have extra manifestation power.

Please keep in mind that writing one's needs in a special book or on a computer is not just a neat philosophy or a project of the week; it is a very real tool for growth and healthy maturity that is solidly rooted in quantum physics, metaphysics, spirituality, and psychology.

Barriers to Needs

Do not fail to realize the power of this simple process. You may look upon this process with suspicion, resistance and avoidance since it

In addition, you may suffer from a condition known as ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder, which I renamed WAS, Wandering Attention Syndrome. If you have trouble concentrating and remembering to do your Needs List, you are one of the folks with unfocused energy. This makes the Needs List doubly important for you.

You may feel undeserving of needs. You may fear life itself. But the time has come for you to take a courageous, self-affirming stand. The quality of your life and the quality of the lives of those around you are dependent upon it.

Ideas For Your Needs List

Don't ever name a specific person.

Name qualities that you need to have in friends, lovers, mates, coworkers, etc. For example, do not say, "I need Jack to be more patient." Instead, list "patience" as one of the traits you need in yourself and others.

Do not use negatives like "not," "no," etc.; rephrase to express what you DO need; you may think in terms of what you do not need in order to arrive at what you do need.

List only one item per line; for example, "I need my lover to be affectionate, passionate, and sexy." These three items should be on separate lines.

Be specific: rephrase "I need to be well-off" to "I need to have $500,000 in savings and investments by the year 2000.

Don't take what you already have for granted; list everything you need to continue manifesting.

Don't overlook needs related to health, sleep, recreation, nature, signals, etc.

You have not defined yourself until you have listed 500 needs. and 5,000 is not unusual.

Review and revise your list frequently under a variety of situations, moods, experiences, environments.

All events provide information on needs, even traumas,

Plan the time to work on your List.

Don't let anyone talk you out of the project.

Don't hide it away in a drawer. It is your Bible. Use it.

Be SPECIFIC in details about people you are needing to manifest in your life, down to physical features, personality characteristics, etc.

Make changes in your List as you change,

Do not list other's needs and do not compare or contrast your needs with other's.

Do not care what others will think of your list. The unenlightened will see it as a threat.

You may separate needs into categories, but this is not necessary; organization is unimportant.

Have F U N with the process. Do not see it as an assignment or 'more work'.

Remember the List is a process, so it could take several years to bring into full form.

Remember that the List is the first aspect of "showing up" in life. The second aspect is taking action. Support your List by appropriate action. No one is going to come knocking on your door with a basket of fulfilled needs. You must go out into the world and explore, gather facts, interview, relate, experiment, observe, take sane risks, etc.,

Carry a notepad with you everywhere so you can spontaneously jot down a need wherever and whenever you discover it.

Transfer needs from notepads and scrap paper to a unified listing,

See your goal as happiness and your job as improving the odds (statistical probabilities) of achieving happiness.

Remember, your happiness does not deprive others of happiness.

Remember, you should NOT be focused instead in solving problems of acid rain or world hunger or war. You have a more important job first -- defining yourself through your needs.

The List helps to improve the probabilities of your happiness and sets energies in motion that contribute in a small but important way to world peace and world health. If enough people participate in this project, the "Hundredth Monkey" principle will be triggered.

You can realistically achieve a 90-95% success rate with your List, whether it be manifesting a particular relationship person or increasing income, or whatever helps you achieve happiness.

Believe this: You can manifest anything you need, but you must first recognize the need, note the need, and then become creatively active in improving the odds to need fulfillment. Then you can feel you have done your most in manifesting happiness in your lifetime.

Remember that motivation, the cause of behavior, involves both conscious and unconscious drives. We possess a "primary" level of motivation to satisfy basic needs, such as those for food, oxygen, and water, and a "secondary" level of motivation to fulfill social needs such as companionship and achievement. The primary needs must be satisfied before an organism can attend to secondary drives. The American psychologist Abraham Maslow devised a six-level hierarchy of motives: (1) physiological; (2) security and safety; (3) love and feelings of belonging; (4) competence, prestige, and esteem; (5) self-fulfillment; and (6) curiosity and the need to understand.

The need to have needs can be added to this list.

This selection is provided as a courtesy to interested parties. Neither WholeARTS tm nor The Psychic Internet tm is responsible for the accuracy of the information.

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